I write
I draw
I read
I sleep
I wake up
To invalid text messages
about being handsome
about being hot
about being the dream boy.

The love boats caught on the rocks
of some reef
my feelings
the passengers
messages in bottles
far from destination
you wish you could even stand in.
at the axis of where my brain separates my night terrors
from my terrors.
at the axis of where my brain seperates my day dreams
from my dreams.

I smoke often to keep my body at a steady pace
which is alive
or ready to die.
my close friends know me
but could give a fuck if i came or left

i have nothing for me down south
and im okay with that.

Twenty 3
in awkward life scenarios
Living like im fif-teen
being compared to everyone around me.

Why em not like him
why don't i do this.
why don't i do that right.

Here a hot tip -
because im not anyone else and
i dont fucking care.
because you dont fucking care.
or give a fuck enough to just let me be me.

There's your excuse.
Just end it.
But you will drag it out
because im every ones plan b.
and i still infiltrate every part of your memory.

at the worst times.
Because im cancerous.

and my radiation is drinking
till i forget
that
i
am
even
here